Log in

No account? Create an account

   Well, I talked today in school. I don't like it… - shut the window love, Keep the world outside

About    Well, I talked today in school. I don't like it…

Previous Entry Feb. 1st, 2005 @ 05:33 pm Next Entry


 Well, I talked today in school. I don't like it though. It tires me out so easily now. It takes everything I got just to hold up a simple conversation. mrs. hennesey said I was comatose but barely audible today and I started cracking up because thats a line from "good to know if i ever need attention all i have to do is die". She didn't get it...


And, okay, I finally figured it out. I'm afraid to be happy. I dont know how. I dont remember it either. I remember happy, when I was 5. Young and naive. But now that I am not as young, and not so naive, I dont know how to get happy. Mary is going to consouling soon, and if the shrink is any good she said she'll let me know. Maybe a little therapy will help, who knows?


oh yes, you know what my dad said yesterday? He goes, " good job keri, just as I thought you were going off the edge with weirdness, you come back to me". gee, THANKS DAD. The truth is, I kinda like it better when I'm "off the edge". I like it when I'm " too weird to handle". I like it when my mind burns and my heart aches. I like feeling overwhelmed with any kind of emotion. I just like feeling. Maybe thats why I dont know how to be happy. With happy, you are in general, content with yourself. I dont think I ever will be content with myself. I dont think I'll ever like mirrors, or pictures of me, or reflections. I'd live better if I was living deep inside a forest with just animals and rain. That's more of my level. Happy people deserve good things. Sad people deserve nothing. And thats just what I've got.






heh. I was planning on doing the rocky horror picture show lips. But I didnt want to bite my bottom lip while focusing. Lazy bastard.


I finally got the picture of that heart on my hand.









When will this end? theres just TOO MUCH OF NOTHING.





all lies,no love,


Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: i want to save you-sc
Leave a comment
Date:February 2nd, 2005 12:45 am (UTC)
i know how you feel. really, i do. if this conselor is good, you will be the first to know. i'm going tomarrow, and even though i've been through it before, i'm still nervous. which probably isn't necessary, but it doesn't stop me from doing it. it is tiring though, talking to people and giving impressions. when i get home, i'm completely worn out. i just kind of listen to music and write something, anything.

i agree with being afraid to be happy.

i hate it when people say they're happy and talk about it. (hypocrit, i know.) like, you can tell when someone is happy, but not when someone is sad or something. sadness has this certain feel to it. one i've grown used to.

Sad people deserve nothing. And thats just what I've got.
you deserve everything. you're a beautiful person, and you should never forget that.

also, i had alot of fun fighting you "matrix style" in tech ed. that was really funny.

but overall, school's tiring. nobody really slows down. i'm having a hard time keeping up.


(Leave a comment)
Top of Page Powered by LiveJournal.com